Let's Talk Later
Let's Talk Later
Transitioning to College, Were You Ready?
Have you ever found yourself questioning the weight of a college degree? Join us as Caprie explores this topic with Jaylah, a soon-to-be college graduate, who's as honest as she is entertaining. Navigating the highs and lows of college life, we reflect on her journey, stumbles, and triumphs. Hear her share stories that are as real as they are hilarious about college roommates, and learn how she combated homesickness by building meaningful relationships.
What happens when your world is turned upside down and your dreams seem nearly impossible to achieve? Caprie opens up about her struggle with illness, academic probation, and the loss of financial aid that forced her to put her dreams on hold. Yet, her resilient spirit shines through as she talks about balancing work and education, and her eventual pivot to a different career path. You'll also hear about our thought-provoking debate on the necessity of a four-year degree, and how single-mindedness can often limit our potential.
As we conclude the first season, we take a moment to reflect on the incredible conversations and diverse range of topics we've covered. From exploring college life and transitions to challenging traditional perspectives on education and career paths, it's been quite a journey. Stay tuned for our next season where we plan to delve deeper into stigmas and mental health issues. So until we meet again, remember to be kind to one another and keep the conversation going.
Hello and welcome back to let's Talk Later. I am your host, Capri.
Speaker 2:And I'm Jela.
Speaker 1:And today we are going to be talking about college life, college transitions, perspectives and all things surrounding that topic. I thought this would be a fun topic, even though Jela's nearly done with school.
Speaker 2:I know.
Speaker 1:I think it's important to reflect on where we've come from, where we were going, and just share with the people and provide some insight to maybe younger generations and older generations, with kids going into college and it's a big deal. So yeah, Jela, how are you feeling today on this beautiful what is this Friday?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a Friday. Yeah, I feel good.
Speaker 1:Nice, cool, ha ha ha. We just picked us up some Starbucks. Maybe one day they'll sponsor us or something you know, but until then, get you an iced pumpkin chai latte cream. Pretty good, if I say so, anyway, ha ha ha. So, um, jela, you are in your last year, right?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. How's that feel? I don't know.
Speaker 1:Back to episode one. I don't know.
Speaker 2:Well, like I don't know, Like I don't know, I'm just like okay, cool.
Speaker 1:Are you proud of yourself?
Speaker 2:No, like it's not that, like it's not my biggest goal, so I'm not like in that mindset where I'm like this is it yeah.
Speaker 1:So I know I'm not done, okay, yeah, okay, well, that's interesting, yeah, that just. I think that's insight to your kind of the way your mind works right, because even though, yes, this is not the end, this is not your biggest goal, this is still an achievement, like graduating, getting a degree.
Speaker 1:I mean not to everybody, don't get me wrong. Hey, some people don't care about college school degrees and whatnot. You know, and this day and age, with AI and certifications and crash courses and all these things and other ways and avenues to make money, then you know I get it, but it's still an achievement.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but this won't be my first degree, so then it's like you see what I'm saying. So it's like when I finished.
Speaker 1:I'm like, yes, I did it, no for sure, I get it Well, I'm proud, it's exciting.
Speaker 2:Thanks, man.
Speaker 1:She was saying yesterday. I hope what I'm saying is right. It's Sima Cum Laude, you wanna graduate?
Speaker 1:Yes, as you know, with that honor, and I think that's admirable. Honestly, I won't lie, I'm just being fully transparent. When I think about Sima Cum Laude, I see white women, I see young white girls, and that sucks because I think I'm attributing it to the media and so usually when you see those news articles, they are young white girls that are receiving these honors. So shout out to all of the, to all young people receiving the honor of Sima Cum Laude or Honor Roll or just any high achievement. Just shout out to all of them Black, brown, yellow, pink, purple, blue. It's phenomenal. So let's journey backwards to I don't know when do we start talking about college or junior year? Yeah, yeah, journey back there. What did it so like? What was your dream school and what were, like, some of the things you looked for? So I have to go somewhere with A, b and C if you did.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean my dream school. It was so crazy because when we first started talking about college, my college advisor I know that this is a very rare actually, because when I went to college and I met other people, they did not have college advisors. They were not like you're going to college. You know, pali was like you're going to college, like you're gonna take this class and in this class, we're gonna be with you for the next two years junior, senior year. We're gonna help you write your essays, we're gonna help you apply, we're gonna help you get those ACT and SAT scores in, and so they were very honest, whereas, like I know I'm not quite sure, I don't know if Aliyah had this, but I think some of my other friends didn't have college advisors. Their schools were like that's only all.
Speaker 1:I didn't have it when I was in high school.
Speaker 2:Oh wow. So really, like when I first went to my college advisor, I wanted to stay in California because I was like you know, I don't know anything else, Like I'm just gonna stay here, and me and you we went to go visit LA and San Diego and I knew those were not my schools, Like I just don't. I just didn't feel right. And so after that I started looking at HBCUs because I wanted to be around black people. Since I did go to a predominantly white school, I really wanted to go to an HBCU, or at least majority black. I knew that I needed to. I didn't wanna have a traditional dorm where I shared a room with someone, so I needed to see what those freshmen dorms looked like. Yeah, After that I was just like as long as it's majority black, then I get my own room, I'm good.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I do remember that. About the tours, what the rooms look like, I gotta share. I remember one dorm tour we did. You said the rooms were too close to the living room. Remember that one. It had like dark color carpet.
Speaker 2:Oh, wittier yeah.
Speaker 1:I was like, yeah, I don't wanna, I don't. I think you were like I don't. One of the schools there were so many different things with.
Speaker 2:JLo was saying but you didn't even wanna finish the tour. At LSU? No, not.
Speaker 1:Loyola.
Speaker 2:Marymount.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:LMU. That's what it was. No, because they were talking about oh, you're gonna go to church. I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, we're not even gonna go there.
Speaker 1:We can stop here, we can just leave.
Speaker 2:It's like okay, Definitely not.
Speaker 1:We are spiritual folks. We believe in a higher power, go so far as to say we believe there's a God, regardless of what God looks like, but just not super strict, religiously devout people. Although I was forced to go to church every Sunday and Bible school and Bible camp during the summers when I was younger, if it's not for you, it don't matter. I feel like you forced a child to do something. If it's not for them, it's not gonna stick, and it did not stick. So yeah, just a little note there. But yeah, that was. It was fun times, though I'll say from the parent perspective that it was I don't know.
Speaker 1:It felt really good to be able to be in a position to, for my daughter to go to school, that she could go to college and do something that I didn't do. I mean, I went to college. I didn't finish the full degree I mean when I say full, I mean the four year. But I never always wondered. I was like am I trying to live vicariously through her or what is this? But it's just no, I just wanted her to have the things and experiences and opportunities that I didn't have and that was simply that. So it felt really good to be in a position to basically, with an employer, shout out to Stanford I was to, you know I was. I've been there long enough to where she is, you know, getting her tuition paid for. That's a huge boning and blessing. It's a large part of the reason that.
Speaker 1:I stayed and so, yeah, it's been interesting watching her find herself through these schools and these programs and experiences different things. So I guess, on the flip side, what would you do differently, like from the school tours to you know you ultimately moved across the country 3000 and some odd miles away, you know. So the location, everything like. What would you do differently in that selection process?
Speaker 2:Be more realistic with myself. When I was picking schools, like I remember I remember I was I wanted to go to University of Houston so bad I think. We ended up going to visit Texas Southern and then I was like no, this ain't it. Went to university, switch over to University of Houston because it was across the street. I got in, we paid, we did everything, but something was literally telling me like do not go, like this is not the school for you, and I was so scared to like tell you that because I was like, oh, we paid, like she's gonna be so mad.
Speaker 2:But like, looking at that now, I think that was my, like my subconscious or something bigger than me telling me that this is not the right time for you to leave. Because I ended up just like I think, like I told you you're like hey, it's okay, like understand things happen. And then I just picked another school, just the only other school that was accepting like students like was Clark, atlanta, and I'm like whatever, like I'm gonna just go here because I don't have any other options. But I would have just stayed. I would just stayed home, probably went to like a community college for like the first two years, because mentally I was not ready, like I was so not ready to like take that leap and be by myself and be independent, that it just messed up a lot of stuff in my, like, college life, I guess. So just being more real with myself, setting more, setting lower expectations to yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, something you said strikes a question. Oh no, not not really a question, but just kind of like speak to that a little bit, because you know you're you're almost done with your bachelor's right and so, and you did kind of bounce a little bit right, you went to a few different schools and then ended up at a two year and then now you're back. So at the end, talk a little bit about that, just because I feel like that's a valuable perspective and information, because you know you follow the normal trajectory, right, you either enter your four year and you go all the way, or you're a start at the JC and then you go, or we know, whatever. Just just you know, just given some insight, that it looks different for everybody.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, yeah, I started off at a four year, but not to sit here and crap on you know HBCU. But I just didn't feel supported at Clark Atlanta. I was a psych major. I honestly felt like they didn't care. They kind of were more about like business and like media and stuff because, like their alum were people that were in the entertainment industry, so they catered more towards those fields, I guess.
Speaker 2:And I was also mentally not there at Clark Atlanta and it just was. It was a lot, so I literally basically went home. I went home and dropped out of Clark Atlanta almost. Yeah, like I just dropped out, I was like you know what? I can't do this, I don't know what I'm gonna do. I ended up going to foothill, finishing up at foothill somewhat, yeah, I was struggling there too Well, not as much, but like I was having my ups and downs still with like, really like extending it out as much as I could because of that fear of like, oh, I'm gonna have to go to like a four year now and actually finish my degree and stuff. And then, yeah, ended up in Arizona State again.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, that's. That's a big deal Like as far as like knowing or feeling prepared to go into something, especially being independent, like that transition from I'm in high school and I'm a teenager to look at me, I'm on my own, like I'm managing I mean, for the most part, I guess some parents and some dynamics, the, the parents or the adults, caregivers, whatever Will manage most of most of it. But then I think in the, in the situation when you're transitioning and you're going far away from you know family and and Resources, you you kind of become super independent, like hyper independent, where it's like you do have to do a lot of the things on your own Because you don't have, you know, anyone that you know, you know around you or that is immediately available, and so that for me. That was always scary for me, because I feel like I wanted like for a While, like when you were little, I was thinking I should just find a school that has dorms for families and Leave. Like I wanted the same thing, like I wanted to leave so bad, like that's that's all, like I didn't even care about where it was, I just wanted to leave, same thing I was. I was trying to get away from trauma. I was trying to get away from the people and the things that had happened to me in those years. Following right and Got scared cuz. I was like what am I gonna do? Like I don't know anybody. And I have a kid like I think If I were in your shoes in the same situation, I probably would have done the same thing. But I had you and you were little and you were in school and you know, even though a lot of the people around me weren't Great people, there was people like your grandma. I was like I can't take her from her, like I can't leave that support and so Like that. That that is definitely a big deal.
Speaker 1:In the way I chose my school. I went to Cal State hey word, which I think they're now Cal State East Bay. I guess they change, I don't know. I think so, but in the way I picked them is they sent me a frame and Certificate and they were like you've been admitted. I was like, oh, this is so nice Like they, like this is such a nice gesture, I'm going there and I actually really liked it. I won't lie, I like the people, the environment. It was very diverse. The teachers were amazing.
Speaker 1:I wanted to major in dance and theater. Like I don't even I get. I get the dance piece. Let's do I have that piece. I will always love dance. But theater when I came from, I guess, I guess because I mean, if you think about it, in theater you're someone else, you get to be someone else.
Speaker 1:And you know, I've said in previous episodes I spent a lot of my, a lot of my life masking, being, you know, inauthentic, not true to myself, because of ABCD, fg and on, and so I think that's what that was. But it was cool. Like I would go hang out with a couple friends, like they lived in the dorms right across the street and I would go hang with them and I wanted to join the black student union and I had all these dreams, you know, and I was like maybe you know me and Jaila could move into these dorms over here, like I was like kind of trying to start thinking about a life and Then, um, I Really don't even know anymore. I think, honestly, I I'm still trying to recover that piece of my life because I don't really remember everything that happened. But I know I got sick, I got the flu and I really, really sick, and then I missed half.
Speaker 1:I don't know if it was a semester or quarter system, but I missed half of it and ended up Failing and then went on academic probation and then I think the counselor at the time said something like Honestly, because I got that was the times of where people actually got a lot of financial aid and so I was getting like four thousand dollars for a quarter, and because I had a dependent when I got sick, you know, you go on academic probation, you lose that. And so she was like the best thing for you to do is go to foothill or go to a JC or something you know, for a you know a couple quarter semesters, whatever, I don't know what's, you know time frame, everybody on. But, um, and then come back and I was like, okay, okay, I'll do that, that makes sense. But losing that financial aid meant I needed to go to work, because I needed to have money, because I was, you know, paying contribute into the household and I was taking care of you, and Work just became more important because I had to live and the household was toxic and and and a lot was going on there and I had to get out, and so it was like school who has time for school? So all of those dreams and plans like that that I was, I was starting to have, they just Was like, well, can't do that anymore. So it was. It was exciting to just to see you being able to do it and Things.
Speaker 1:But I know it wasn't easy for you either, because you know, like you said, you weren't ready and there was a lot for you and on you too, because it's not like you were living by yourself with all of this, this newfound Support and resources around you. If anything, I feel like it opens you up to things that you weren't acknowledging about yourself Previously, which may have been destined. You know honestly, because if you think about it, sometimes, what do they say something Well, I still know how to swim. Ain't that embarrassing? But you know, a lot of people were taught to swim by being pushed into the pool and I think that was kind of it for you. You had to be pushed into it to say, oh, hey, whoa, like it's something bigger going on here. But I want to hear, I want you to share. You don't have to name names back. You had some very interesting lodging experiences.
Speaker 1:Oh through school oh my god.
Speaker 2:Let's talk a little bit about my dad.
Speaker 1:Cuz cuz. It ain't easy for everybody to roommate with people. I understand that I don't think I've ever had a root. Well, that's a lie, I understand. So, jaila, enlighten us on the roommate experience in college.
Speaker 2:Oh my god, starting at Clark Atlanta, I stayed in something called the sweets Um and it was basically like two Little rooms with no doors so we had to hang up a curtain rod to give us, like privacy. But it was better than the traditional dorm. So I was like, okay, cool, but my roommate was so dirty. She was so dirty, she would literally have like a bunch of trash piled up and I'm like yo, when is you gonna throw this away? You know, I'm saying like it's getting real weird in here. Then we had a shared pantry and this is how I knew I had to get out of here.
Speaker 1:Not the goop.
Speaker 2:My god, okay. I used to eat terrible back at Clark Atlanta. I had some goober and if you know what that is, that's basically peanut butter and jelly in the same jar. It's so good, it's so good, but it's so bad, so bad. One day I'm about to go make me a PB and J sandwich and I open it up and literally what was the peanut butter missing, or was?
Speaker 1:it, the jelly missing. I think all your Jelly was missing.
Speaker 2:She literally took all the jelly out of the jar and just left peanut butter in it. Didn't ask me if she could have some, didn't ask me at all, didn't let me know nothing. I sent a picture to my mom and I knew that if I confronted her about it we would have probably fought, because back then I Was a hothead and I didn't know how to communicate. But it was so disrespectful and it was just like wow, like how I'm supposed to have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? You took all the jelly out my freaking jar, bro.
Speaker 1:Like who does that like for, who take all the jelly? Or or either one like not even get some like remove. I wouldn't have believed it if you didn't send me a picture like I really would not have believed it because I just Sometimes I can't fathom the thought of the audacity that people be having. That was, that was wow.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then when I went to Georgia or when I moved back to Georgia and I stayed in Aspen, my first roommate she was, she was dirty, she had a lot of beef for her boyfriend and her upstairs neighbor was a domestic violence and I remember this one time he was like beating her up or something or they was getting into it and he was like you gonna leave me on Crip or something like that and me and my roommate just literally like yo, we have to move. I have to move because I can't sleep. I can't sleep at night and I'm very sensitive to my sleeping pattern and her boyfriend was selling drugs out of our like room and so the legal student, no okay.
Speaker 2:This was the very first time I moved to Aspen, on the fourth floor, yep, and her boyfriend was selling which will call it drugs out of our apartment and like dudes will come knocking at like 5 am and I'm like, bro, I'm trying to go to sleep. I can't sleep because my upstairs neighbor is a gangbanging abuser and I'm tired and your boyfriend is selling drugs, so this is not okay. All right, so then I moved. They moved me to the third floor and she had a huge dog, a huge dog that she would lock in her room while she was gone. She was the, she was a.
Speaker 1:Teacher, teacher. Yeah, she was a teacher, or she wanted to be a brother or something.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it wasn't even her dog, it was somebody else's dog and it would bark all Day, from the morning until night until she got home to let him out and just bark, bark, bark, bark, bark. And I'm like okay, like I Need to move, because not only can I not sleep because this dog is barking, but then my neighbor was a producer who made beats all night so I could not go to sleep. I could not go to sleep, and so this was so much.
Speaker 2:They moved me again to the fifth floor. So now I had nobody above me and and nobody on the side of me either, and I had the room to myself for a little while. But then a girl from New Mexico moved in. She was the politician lawyer wanted to be and.
Speaker 2:Things were good at first. Like I was like, oh my god, like I might actually have a good roommate. But then she started to slip up. Like her boyfriend was like in the like Navy or something like that and he was cheating on her and she was stressed out, she was always complaining about him and she didn't have any food in the house and she would always make salmon. She would always make salmon and it was unseasoned and she would always use my pots, in my pans and she didn't know how to like clean up. So one time she made oatmeal she made oatmeal, use my pot, washed it quote-unquote. I literally go to use the pot and there's like dried oatmeal in it and I'm like yo stop using my stuff. Like stop it. I literally bought baby locks or I bought locks or something like that for the Cabinets that only I had to like magnet for, so she would stop using my stuff like Don't use it.
Speaker 2:Oh my god at all, don't use it. And then she was only supposed to. She was only supposed to use it for, you know, she was only supposed to be there for a little while. That's what I meant. Um, and then finally she moved out and like I was just like golly, like I'm good to go. I didn't have a roommate for a couple months again. Then I got my last roommate. She was a good roommate. I mean, for the most part she was good roommate, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was getting those calls and I mean, yes, it's. You know, I would tell Jailer, like man, jailer, like you gotta, you gotta learn to live with people, because sometimes people need a little extra help. You know not, these people grew up. They're probably not the clean. They probably, you know, da, da, da. But at the same time, I get it. You don't touch my stuff, don't eat my food, don't leave a big old dog in your room all day and, like you know, yes, yes, because it's, it messes up the quality of your life, because you can't sleep and Trying to go to school and just all of these things. So, um, yeah, ultimately she ended up alone in her own apartment. She said I can't do this living with people anymore and she got herself. Well, we got her a one bedroom apartment and, yeah, that's, that's seemed to be the better situation. But then it came, jailer, you, you do be just upset, because then it was the upstairs neighbors mom.
Speaker 2:I had video footage. I had video footage Again. I moved to a one bedroom apartment by myself, all the way across the street from where I just came from. I get there and I'm under domestic violence again. I mean, like they're arguing, they're beating each other up, they slamming doors all through the night, like I. This is when I started buying myself, um, the, the like a headphone, sleeping band so I can go to sleep at night. But Like, come on, I'm trying to watch tv and I hear you're louder than my tv. So, yeah, I complained to my leasing office and they moved me. We're at, the police called. I guess I literally called security. The police came and they would not answer the door. Like all this stuff happened.
Speaker 2:And then the leasing office. Because I remember I called the leasing office and I'm like, hey, can you guys please send somebody up there? I'm trying to go to bed. I got work. This is when I was working and I had to wake up at like 5 am. I have to be up at 5 am. Please tell the people just to be quiet. Give me three nights out the week. I don't care if you beat each other up on the weekend. Do what you want to do then they support domestic violence.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but hey, but then they told me to call the police because this wasn't something that concerned them or something like that. So did not call the police. Even the police was like, oh well, they're not answering, so there's nothing we can do.
Speaker 1:That's so crazy.
Speaker 1:I don't, yeah, and that's what ticked me off. We, we tried to get legal aid and we got a little bit of help, but not really nothing like that. Just because it's like how can you say as the, the property manager or leasing Office, whatever, like, the well-being of tenants in your property isn't your concern for one, and that means the, the poor people getting getting Beed up, whatever was happening, and then the tenant below and then he tenants around you, like that's Definitely your concern, that's the experience of your tenants, that's that's yeah, but anyway, that's neither here nor there. Um, I don't think I've ever had those issues, but I did have some neighbor issues, like not in college, like I didn't yeah, I didn't stay in college, but um, just living in apartment complexes, right, people with heavy feet and sound like they bowling and and playing Um in a mariachi band all night, um, all of that kind of crazy stuff. But um, we had these one neighbors that they lived right above us.
Speaker 1:I don't know if you remember when we was um on Coleman. Now, those were the people playing, bowling and and and and. Uh was your square dancing at night and most interesting group of people living up there, if I remember. But no, whatever. Um on in Palo Alto, where the lady would work out on the stairs, huh, in Palo Alto, where the lady would work out on the stairs and, um, they would water their. They had kids and a dog and they would water their plants and the right on the patio and the water would drip down and I thought it was raining and it was all in my head and they're watering plants right up, but it was just yeah that was.
Speaker 1:That was absolutely ridiculous. And then we finally moved into a town home where we had no one up or above or below us, and that was, yeah, finally good.
Speaker 2:Finally.
Speaker 1:But, yeah, jaila has some trials and tribulations with the roommates, um, and she is going back into a roommate situation, one which I'm sending all the good vibes and love for, because it's going to be boxing.
Speaker 2:Yes, that's it.
Speaker 1:Another question but it's someone that I feel like this will be better because you know, you trust and you have an open line of communication so you can provide feedback, and vice versa, she can do the same. So I have, I have, high hopes for this, this situation, because I can't even room with my own mother. I'm gonna tell you that and be honest, um, and I mean, this is not a roommate situation with my husband, even with him. It's just we have our back and forth of, and you didn't do this Right, like if anybody this, this, resonate with you. Just give, give a little. Should you to comment or something?
Speaker 1:Um, you know anybody who don't watch the backs of pots? That kills me. I don't understand it, and that's been we've been, I think, arguing back and forth about that for at least six years and, um, I gave up. I just grabbed the pot, not just again and wash it again, because, yeah, I'm not going to go into that any further, but that's yeah. Anyway, check the back of your pots if you live with somebody, to see if they work, if they wash the backs of the pots, um, so, yeah, jumping back in, um, did you ever, jaila, did you ever feel? I think you did. But you know, talked to us about filling homesick Like how was that for you throughout you know your years away in school.
Speaker 2:Okay, let's say this when I was at Clark Atlanta, I did not want to be there, I wanted to go home and I was super homesick. I'm like, yeah, this ain't, this ain't going to work, and I ended up just going home. Yeah, I just left, I went and got my stuff and I went home. Um, but then when I lived in Aspen, I didn't feel as homesick. Um, once I started, once I moved to the fifth floor and you know, I started making like real friends and like real connections and like kind of building my own family. Um, to the point where, like, atlanta started to feel like home and when I would come home for like Thanksgiving or something like that, I would be homesick about Atlanta. Um, I can't wait to go back. Like I miss my friends and like my freedom.
Speaker 2:Um, yeah, but I'm the type of person where if, like, I feel homesick or something is telling me to do something, I'm going to just do it. So I don't really think I give good advice for people who miss home. Yeah, I'm just going to do it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean but that was advice, because you said that it changed once you started to build connection and community. Um, because, yeah, like I mean and even with that you can be homesick, but, um, I I'm of the belief that like relationships and friendships are truly very, very important. Um, because you know you can only, you can only be so many versions of yourself with one person or with two people. You know you have your relationship with your mother, you know some with their, you know not some with it, with your father, with your sister, siblings, you know all of that type of stuff. Um, but I feel like if you don't have friendships like there's this, this, like a missing component, almost like Like you need people to to where you can, you can just be kind of, just be just just a friendly with. Like you know you and I have our relationship, um, and I think we can. I mean, I feel like we can be pretty authentic around each other, but I'm your mom and you know it's different than having friends where you can. You know you can turn up or you can be crazy or you know whatever with. So it's just really important.
Speaker 1:I value friendship so much because it does, I feel like, play a vital role in um. You know how we live out our lives, so my little piece there, um. So I mean speaking of like advice and guidance. So you have people and I'll share you know, a perspective as well. But you know you have people who are probably you know it's still in high school and our things starting to think about college and what they want to do after. Like what you know gems, would you get? Provide them, you know, as they're kind of thinking about what adult life will look like for them and transitioning out of high school.
Speaker 2:Um, if you don't know, don't go. That's what I say. I tell Sky that too. Because guys like, oh, I don't know what I want to do, I don't know what I want to do, I don't know, like, what I want to major in and honestly, take a gap year, like there's nothing wrong with starting at your own pace or, you know, are taking a couple of classes at a community college and getting just work experience and stuff like that, like I think that's always like the biggest thing that people get lost at.
Speaker 2:They just think like, oh, I'm just going to go and I'm going to pick a major and I'm going to work towards this major and if I don't like it I'll change it. But that screws you up in itself because then you're taking classes they have nothing to do with the new major you're wanting to like go into. Um, and then you just wasted money and time and effort on classes that you didn't even need. So do a little self discovery and then you know, once you figure that out, because you might find out that college isn't even for you. You might find out you want to be a real estate agent and you got to go to a whole different path to become that, and doesn't even involve college. So you know, self discovery first.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that makes a lot of sense and that is true. I mean, yeah, just you know, like I said earlier, just what's for you, because what you want and what looks and feels good for you is going to be different than whatever a handout or one page pamphlet you know is going to tell you. So, definitely make the journey one that is personal for you and within your reality. Right, I know, for me, I think it's still, it's definitely generational too. I think these generations that are coming up behind even you are looking at college a lot different, Like I feel like probably less so than you know the generations before Because, again, there are so many other avenues. But for me, I feel like, like even right now I'm in this, I'm in this very, very challenging phase where I'm like what next? Because I've been, like I said, I've been doing HR for 10 years before that you know, kind of like project program management, and I feel like I'm this completely different person now, Like I don't even feel the same as I felt three months ago, Like I feel like I am so different and as far as like what I want and what feels good, and I just don't know how to really reach it, because I'm like, do I need to go back to school? So that's the first thing, because when I'm looking at these job descriptions, right, and I'm looking through different postings, it's like you know, bachelor's preferred, bachelor's desired, bachelor's required, you know, and I'm like, well dang, you know, I have all this experience, almost, I mean two decades worth of experience but I don't have a four year degree. So is that going to keep me stagnant? Is that gonna keep? Is that gonna hold me back from, you know, getting these opportunities to grow, or is there something that I'm missing because I'm stuck in that mindset of you have to have a college degree in order to make X amount of dollars.
Speaker 1:You know, and I think back to I had a Reiki session. For those you know, Reiki is the movement of energy through your body and it can be done. You can do it on yourself, you know, if you have the practice and the patience and the connectedness, or there are Reiki masters and practitioners who can do this on you, and it's basically to find out where energy is trapped in you and help move it through your body so that you can think, feel and operate more clearly. And so I had a session done in Antioch at Abundance Well Spa, hey, Daphne, and she was telling me that she's. You know, there's also these people who are very intuitive and very in touch with energy and spirit and just the world around them, and so they receive sometimes what's called downloads and it's like messages from, you know, spirit, guides, ancestors, whatever, whatever you wanna call it.
Speaker 1:And she had told me I don't believe what you're going to do will require you to go back to school and I, ah, like it was interesting to hear, but I hated hearing it at the same time because I still had so many questions Like that's one of those profound things, like what you're going to do, does it? But what is it Like? I just, you know, I'm like I don't know. Maybe that's to my detriment, but I've always been kind of the person that just I just want the answer. I just want to know, instead of have to go through the experience, because as I'm going through the experience, I'm constantly questioning is this the right way? Is this the right thing? Is this the right, you know, is this the right passion? I turn around and try that.
Speaker 1:And so I'm at that point in my life of where it's like I truly, truly, truly, truly, truly do not want to do anything that doesn't feel good, If it doesn't vibe with my energy and my spirit. I don't wanna do it. And so that's hard when, like I said, I'm just trying to figure out what's next. And I asked you know, I'm going through these courses and I'm asking myself the questions like what makes me happy, what invigorates me, what do I enjoy? You know, what about this world breaks my heart? And I'm answering those questions, but it doesn't really put it neatly into a package and I think I just probably just need to be okay with that, that it's not a neat package and I need to remove the I don't know if you'd call it maybe the American standard of single-mindedness, like you can only be this thing Like, oh, like what was that? Was that Ray J or Soulja Boy or somebody had? Like all of these business ventures Like they made a Ray J.
Speaker 1:Was that, Ray J? And they were like laughing, like why are you doing all of this stuff? Like you're just doing so many things you know, and it's like what's wrong with that? What's wrong with being interested in tech and wanting to do gymnastics, and wanting to teach kids how to swim and wanting to I don't know drive trucks? You know? Like what's wrong with that? And in my head they're like, even though I say what's wrong with that, my standard thought is there is something wrong with that.
Speaker 1:Make up your mind, pick something you know, Because if you ask me what I enjoy, I could name five different things that have nothing to do with the other. So I think that's the hard part for me. What do you think about that, Jaila? Like I know you have a pretty much defined path forward, but like, do you think that you'll shift at all? Like, tell me, well, tell the people, what your path forward is, and then, like, do you think you'll shift and want to like dip your hands in a bunch of different things, or yeah, well, you know, just looking at my process, or the steps and changes I've made throughout my entire life At first, when I was younger, I wanted to be an actress.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you ruined that when you didn't take me to. You didn't you should have found a way to pay for that Disney stuff? Okay?
Speaker 1:You should have found a way. Thank you for saying that, because do you hear this, Jaila? I ruined it because I didn't have iron funds. I didn't have no money now.
Speaker 2:We could have been a star.
Speaker 1:We could have been. You could still be a star. I am a star already. Go to LA, no, thank you. I don't want to be that anymore.
Speaker 2:You look Okay, so I want to be an actress. And then I changed to God, I think in high school I was like I want to be a psychologist. And yeah, I think in high school I was like, yeah, I just want to be a psychologist, I want to help people, I want to give back to people. Then I wanted to be an academic advisor because I realized how much mine helped me. But then I was like, eh, eh, yeah, it changed quite a bit. So I know that now, where I'm at, I still want to be a therapist or a psychiatrist I don't know, whatever one comes first, I guess and I also want to help kids. I also want to be a therapist for people in prisons, like I don't know why. But basically I have a lot of plans around therapy and giving back to people who need therapy. But I also want to own a strip club. So I'm pretty sure I'ma dip my toes into a lot of things. I'ma be like the next Ray J.
Speaker 1:You did say that I want to own a strip club. That's so funny. So before you, before I ask this first question, I mean the second question did you see the clip? There was this guy and he said that his profession he was a Bible teacher, but he's saving up to own a strip club. Have you seen that? That's probably one of the most backwards thing, hey, single-mindedness, why he can't teach the Bible and support the strip folk they might be stripping to, for the Lord the Jesus songs.
Speaker 1:We don't know, that ain't our business, but anyway, what, why, why a strip club?
Speaker 2:I don't know. I think it's the environment. There's a lot of money going around, big booties, females just doing their thing, dudes getting a money took oh, I love to see it.
Speaker 1:Oh, my God.
Speaker 2:Yep, I love that. I love the nightlife too, though. Okay, but I know I won't be able to be a part of the nightlife forever cause I'ma get old, so it's always gonna live on in my name.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I don't know if you could say that I feel like there are older people who are still Not me.
Speaker 2:About the nightlife, not me. Oh so about your mom?
Speaker 1:I am not Grandma, I am not talking about my mother, because I don't think she's in the night life anymore.
Speaker 2:I don't know actually. Let me ask her she's really going she's old and sitting at house all day.
Speaker 1:Yeah, with daddy, let me show you. Oh, so anyway, that's just interesting and I don't aspire to own a strip club, but I do like the nightlife. There's something about the energy, the freedom, the like, you know, people just let loose and just vibe out. You know, I wish, I would love for us to have a space where we can all do that safely and, you know, nobody gets any crashes or anything crazy. But it's a feeling Like I would love to own a dance studio and have events like at night, like you know, different kind of like single, bring people together.
Speaker 1:Like my thing is, whatever I do, I want a component of bringing people together. Like building community for me is so important. And so, like that dance studio, like I'd want it to be big enough, like I'd love to like buy somebody's old big mansion and like renovate it to where there's like a yoga room, a massage room, like different rooms where different, you know, practitioners can do whatever they need to do and those rooms have a childcare center, have a sauna, you know just all of the space and then like also utilize that space. Like I said, free, different events, you know, like those painting sips and things like that. Like I would love to have something like that, like that's my like, that is my like end goal, like life has completed, like I have that is success. When I can finally reach that.
Speaker 1:So yeah, that's I don't know. Put that out there, manifest that for me everybody. So yeah, back to the college transitions. I think I had wanted to ask you about like, like in, like into it. So you, when you first started in Clark, when you first started at Clark, you were going to in-person classes. Then COVID hit right and everybody was sent home, sent online with the, and I don't think you ever returned back in-person, right?
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:And that was your preference. So like I don't wanna talk a little bit about that, because I feel like I'm the opposite, Like I would so much rather be in-person in class than online.
Speaker 2:No, I'm just not. I don't got the attention span to be sitting there listening to you talk. I'm probably just not gonna show up, so might as well just do it on my own time, and I don't like when people tell me what to do. So, you know, I feel like when you're online it's like hey, can you do all this for us? And if you don't, then you don't. So yeah. My time, my path, yeah.
Speaker 1:Let me explain. I don't feel like I have the discipline, like I need to be held accountable, like if I have to come to class and turn something in, I'm gonna do it, versus you have to like really be organized To write down due dates and contribute to those online discussions, and it's just for my brain. It's just too many things. Like I need the accountability of being in-person, like before you walk out of this classroom, here's the homework, you know, here's what's due next week, and it's like okay, but like online, I feel like you have to be the teacher, like you kind of have to write everything out and post stuff on time, like oh my gosh, I get the flexibility, but I could not. I tried it and I succeeded a couple of times, but honestly, I feel like more than not, I failed the classes I took online Because I just was not disciplined enough to keep up with everything that needed to be done. So, yeah, oh, anything else.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:No, well, I think that wraps our episode. For those of you that are in college, keep it going, keep up the good fight. Reach out to your resources, your mentors, your counselors, your tutors and such. For those of you entering, planning to enter, college, best of luck, do your thing, get your community and your support around you. And, you know, do what feels good, do what feels right, be realistic. And for those of you that didn't finish college, it's never too late. If you wanna go back, go back. Take it slow, take your time. There are grants and opportunities out there. Check with your employers to see if they have, you know, tuition, reimbursement or any kind of scholarships, because those are always available but not communicated enough. And for those of you, parents with kids in these different phases, just continue to be supportive and resourceful and, you know, keep an open line of communication through everything. I think that's one of the biggest deals. So until next time, like share, subscribe, leave us a comment. We'd love to hear from you.
Speaker 1:As always, we'll be dropping episodes every week, for on Wednesdays and, oh yeah, this is the closeout. We are closing season one. Yeah, so we are at episode 10. And we are closing out season one of getting to know me and getting to know Jaila, and our plan for next season is to start bringing you new voices, so you'll hear from some different people and hear some additional perspective, and we hope you enjoy it. We're gonna plan it out as best as we can to continue providing candid conversation and, you know, addressing stigmas and mental health issues and the like, and so we hope you keep going with us. It's been real, it's been fun. So, as always, take care, be good to one another, peace.
