Let's Talk Later
Let's Talk Later
Generational Love
Have you ever embarked on the rollercoaster ride that is love and relationships? Well, let us tell you – you're not alone! I’m Caprie, and with my co-host, Jaylah, we’re taking you on a journey through our personal stories and experiences. We'll discuss everything from the illusion of love at first sight to the importance of self-discovery and maintaining your identity even when you're head over heels in love.
Ever heard of the concept of 'three great loves'? Let us dive into this intriguing theory and how our encounters with puppy love and intense love have shaped our understanding of it. We'll also touch on the impact of age on relationships and the controversial idea of setting deadlines for life milestones. We'll also reveal our thoughts on modern dating norms, including who should foot the bill on a date and why a little research before committing to a date can go a long way!
Now, let’s get down to the juicy stuff – cheating, breakups, and the complex dynamics of making the first move. We’ll be putting the spotlight on some of the differences in men's and women's perspectives on these matters and the different stages of relationships. Trust us, you don't want to miss our unforgettable dating stories and the valuable insights we’ve picked up. So plug in your earphones, sit back, relax, and let’s navigate this labyrinth of love and relationships together! We promise you an invigorating, enlightening, and downright entertaining conversation. After all, who said conversations about love and relationships have to be boring?
Hello and welcome back everyone. You are joining us today on let's Talk Later. I am your host, Capri, and I'm Jailor, and today we're going to be talking about love and relationships, so mixing up just a little bit. You know there's still another component of you know healing and processing and discovery through these conversations, right? So let's get into it Right here. We usually record in the morning, you know early morning, so usually at the start of a fresh brain, at least for me, because I'm not really a morning person. I don't really come alive till after 10am, but I'm doing well. How are you, Jailor?
Speaker 2:I'm good man.
Speaker 1:So funny. How are you feeling about love? How's your love, Aura, this morning?
Speaker 2:It's cool.
Speaker 1:I wish you would just be great and wonderful. Okay, so we're gonna. We have some, you know, as usual, we're just kind of staying true to our kind of structure as it has been to date and we'll be doing some Q&A with each other and then we'll do a little bit of what we've called kind of a versus, and so we'll be doing some generational perspectives on different parts of you know what relationships mean for me now, or for me now, and kind of a multi perspective, right, what it meant to me, I guess, when I was Jailor's age or younger. And then she'll be giving her perspective from, you know, the lens of her generation. So I'm gonna jump right in and I hope you all enjoy this conversation. The first question, jailor, what was your first serious relationship?
Speaker 2:Okay if we're talking like adult serious or just serious in general.
Speaker 1:I think that's open for definition.
Speaker 2:Like, my first boyfriend was in high school, but I wouldn't say no, it was kind of serious because there were really motions, so yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right. Do you have anything else to say about that?
Speaker 2:No, that was my first relationship, isn't that the question?
Speaker 1:Yeah, man, but you know I'm an expander.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's your problem.
Speaker 1:Oh, ain't that something? Okay, anyway, all right, look who's getting real. So I think my first serious relationship oh man, I think when I define serious, I define it a little more as like mature serious it's probably my current, yeah, I would say, my first serious relationship, because serious isn't immature to me, like even like I've been, I've been just a relationship for 11 years, so it's expanded and grown a bunch. So probably when we started it wasn't, of course, which I think is like a though, but as we grew and expanded it became serious. I don't know, I think for me, I think it's my current one, yeah, okay, next question.
Speaker 2:Okay, do you believe in love at first sight?
Speaker 1:I do not. I think that's beautiful in the movies, but I do not feel like that's real, because you know nothing about a person when you see them and have no other content. I don't know, that's just me, do you?
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:Okay, straight into the point. No offense to anybody else out there who might feel like it's a thing, but you see where we stay. Next question Do you ever think about previous love interests?
Speaker 2:All the time. Yeah, because I'm single, so I can.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I heard that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we wait, I'm not hesitant.
Speaker 1:I'm not hesitant, I just want to be able to answer this in a appropriate manner, Like so, yes, I do. Most of the time the way I think about them is they was messed up, or they know it was a terrible situation, or I remember this one time dude had me tripping Like you know, like I'll think about parts of me that I've grown from. That's usually how I'm thinking about. I'm like not never, not never, but like in this, like space and in this relationship. Never on a like I miss that person because I can say with 110% certainty that anyone that I have either talked to or dated or anything, at this point I do not regret nor want, like I don't want them back. I don't wish that I could have that back. I do not, and that's not kept.
Speaker 2:Next question what lessons have you learned from your relationships?
Speaker 1:I would say those are probably endless, but I'll just list like two. I think the first lesson that I've learned is not to lose yourself, not to lose your voice for anyone. Like don't don't dim your light to accommodate someone else's emotions or someone else's oh gosh, just whatever they are and however they present themselves. Don't make yourself smaller to fit into that. And then the second thing I think I've learned is that we it's okay to not fit.
Speaker 1:I think we worry, and I think that's that goes beyond relationships, but I won't get into that, but I think in my perspective, I worried so much like why aren't things working? Why are we always arguing? Why is this always happening? And just being okay with this? Ain't it? This is not, it's not working because it's not supposed to, instead of trying to force things to work and trying to mold and I guess, again, make yourself fit, thinking that because you have history or because you've known this person a long time, or they did this one or two things for you when you were down you feel like you owe them something or whatever. Sometimes it just don't fit and that's okay. What about you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think, yeah, I agree with you on that. I think my most recent one has taught me how to remove myself from patterns that I keep trying to not see, if that makes sense. It showed me how blind people could get when they're in love with someone and you know that it's not like, it's not good for you, it's not going to work out, but you keep trying. So I think, really just letting go and with me letting this person go, I was actually able to heal from a lot of other things that I realized I needed to let go.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, it sounds like we've kind of learned some of this, some of the same lessons, from relationships. So, talking about learning lessons, I would say the next question is just to kind of foreflow right what was the hardest breakup you've ever had?
Speaker 2:Definitely my last one, Definitely. The thing is, though, is that we weren't even like together. There was never a you're my boyfriend and I'm your girlfriend. It was just three years of yeah, we basically together.
Speaker 1:It is so interesting to me and we're going to touch on this stuff in the verses because, yeah, it's just so different from the way I understand relationships work, but or whatever you wouldn't call them. Let's see, my hardest breakup was a person that I dated on and off since middle school and that was because of the longevity and that was because of the complexity that was trying to make it fit, and so it was really hard because I had not yet come to the realization that it was so much of force and you know, kind of the reason. I feel like the reason that why you're with someone has a lot to be sorry has a lot to do with what you need at that time. So if you need security, if you need humor, if you need to be spoiled, if you need emotional support, you're going to find those pieces in that person that you're dealing with and connect to that and hold on to those, no matter if everything else is absolutely terrible. They fill these certain things for you, and so I think that was a lot of what happened with me, and so I had to disconnect not only from that relationship but also with the part of myself that said that you know he fills this for you when in reality it was just a really bad fit and no harm, no vow or whatever. But you know, because we all make our decisions, but it was definitely the hardest breakup.
Speaker 1:Okay, next question.
Speaker 2:Are we going with this one? Yeah, okay, all right. Do you believe that there are three loves in a lifetime, and have you experienced them?
Speaker 1:So yes and yes, I think before we go into it we should probably kind of define for the people what the three loves theory is, to help it make more sense.
Speaker 2:All right. So, according to Courtney Kardashian, the first love is like a fairy tale or like puppy love. You usually have this in high school or early college years. Very lustful, it's not usually deep. You'll never probably experience this again because you're going to grow up. The second one is your intense love. It's usually the one that turns your world upside down. The relationship becomes a mirror into your soul. You notice all your insecurities, your needs and your desires. You may experience jealousy, fear and self-doubt. It has massive highs and dramatic lows, and trying to mold that other person into your perfect partner, it usually ends pretty bad. Your third one is your unconditional love. That is when you are much more mature. You feel like you're home. You embrace everything about them, including their imperfections. You feel like yourself when you're with them and you constantly inspire each other to be better.
Speaker 1:So yes, um, I like I said, yes, I believe in it, um, and yes, I've experienced. I feel like I've experienced all three. Um, so the puppy love, I would say I mean obvious. So so this is I don't know. This is a, I think, part that's confusing for me because, going back to the last question about breakup that person, we were on and off since I was a kid, so I feel like almost like they were my, they were the first and the second. They were, you know, kind of the puppy love and the what was it? The second one called the intense one intense love.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I feel like they were both of those, um, because, thinking about the little crushes and the little boyfriend, I don't feel like you really have a boyfriend before you, like 16. That I had back then. I don't know. I feel like it wasn't as impactful on my life, but at the same time, you know, I'm kind of thinking okay, where would your dad fit in there? Um, did you love him? Yes, I think I did.
Speaker 2:You can't think. I mean you know if you love someone.
Speaker 1:I had love for him. So I wouldn't say that I was in love because I don't feel like I knew what that was then, um, but I did have love for him and I think and that's why it's a little bit confusing, because without you in the mix, the intensity of it wouldn't exist. So maybe he was the puppy, because it was definitely more, because I mean, that's just lust. It was like whoa, yeah, you look good, and stuff, um, it was the attraction, it was a lot about the attraction, um, so yeah, I would say he was the puppy. The second person was definitely the intense, definitely the pain. I mean it was chaotic, it was Bobby and Whitney, minus the drugs and abuse. I guess. Sorry, um, but it was just, it was toxic, it was, it was toxic, um, and it didn't fit. And I you know I try not to say I wish, but you know it's too bad that different decisions weren't made, to just realize that the piece didn't fit earlier.
Speaker 1:And then, with my husband, right now, I feel like it's the love that came out of absolutely nowhere. It was unexpected, like when we got together. I mean maybe we'll have him on the show and we'll talk and get his perspective of it all, but like he pursued me and pursued me and pursued me, and I was always like, boy, go on, leave me alone. Um, I was always either in a relationship or whatever. And it was just, oh, I knew he was like a little younger than me, um, and so, and so it was like, when it came together, it was like, oh, we probably just going to talk and then you're going to be just you know, somewhere else where we're going to. You know, I'm going to stop answering the phone or whatever. Something's going to happen, and, and it just kind of stuck and and and it didn't make sense.
Speaker 1:For a long time I was like, wait, is this still happening? This is still happening, you're still here. Okay, all right, and I think the biggest thing about it that I realized later on is that it was still happening because it he felt like a friend, but a friend that I I mean obviously was, was attracted to, was interested in. You are hilarious with the faces over here, um, and I don't know it was like. I mean, to date, my favorite thing is we can laugh so hard together because, like he, he, I just watched this movie. I love these rom-coms, especially around Christmas. Anyway. Um, he matches my goofy. And I've had people say that, oh, you're weird, like why are you laughing so much? Or why you like act like that and that trigger.
Speaker 1:Um, but he's never like he he'll do something crazy right with me, and like we'll just crack up about it, and like this is comfortable. And so, although I'm not ever going to say anything was easy, but it just is, it just, it, just, it just is, and it it makes sense. And so, jaila, I need to know what these faces are for. And this is laughter. What is going on, bro? You just this is just funny.
Speaker 2:Why, mom bro? Because it's funny bro.
Speaker 1:Why, bro Because?
Speaker 2:you hear, like hear me out right. Like you're talking about Marcel, like oh, it was just so easy and this stuff. I'm like, oh my God, like this is crazy Cause. Like I was like 10, 11, 12, I don't remember and I'm like in my head listen, I love Marcel, that's my, that's my stepdad, I call my real dad for real. But when I first met that man, I'm like there is no way mama brought this into our house. Like I cannot believe this. I was just siding the entire time.
Speaker 1:I'm like, well, well, she was, here we go All right, I'm not, I said, I just said, I'm not saying it was easy, no, no, no, I know that, but it's like still hearing, like like the endearment behind it and I'm your kid is like dang my mama sent bro Wow. Dang it.
Speaker 2:He was a simp for Marcel.
Speaker 1:Wow, you know I, you enlighten me what is a simp Cause? I don't know if I really know what that means.
Speaker 2:Like a simp is somebody who just like right, you just in love you kind of sad, Like it's like not sad, Like oh, you're boohoo crying, but like you know how they be. Like Drake is a simp because like yeah, he'd be doing what he'd be doing, and he kind of in love and then he don't be in love, but he'd be going a little crazy and obsessed, like when he was in love with Nicki Minaj, and he was just always Nikki, nikki, nikki, nikki, bro, you are a simp bro, she does not want you.
Speaker 1:Oh man, yeah, but like you, just a simp, it's okay. Your husband, though, yes, yeah, yes, it is, yeah, yeah, it is, it's, it's, it's everything all at the same time. It really is. It's like when I think about us, I think about that little picture, it's like a grandma and a grandpa and it's raining and he holding the umbrella over her head, but he mad. It's like, even if, even if you still got me, like, so, yeah, so call me a simp there, man, cause you know this, this is what it is, man. So, j-la, since since I'm simping over here, tell us about if you believe in the theory of the three great loves and if so have you experienced it, cause I don't know when.
Speaker 2:I brought this to your attention, cause I'm like my mom, I think.
Speaker 1:I'm going through it. She did, she did. Okay, so you believe in it obviously. Have you experienced any of them and if so, which ones?
Speaker 2:Um, definitely the puppy love. I think a lot of people who probably listening probably going to know exactly what I'm talking about, cause I was so in love with this man and when he like hurt me, like my first puppy love, I was sitting at Emma house eating pizza rolls, crying. Just toe up, man.
Speaker 1:I was like I can't, don't eat them, though they processed and unhelpful.
Speaker 2:But at the time I needed that, I needed to feel something else, man, my stomach needed to hurt or something, but definitely the puppy love, cause I got over that so quickly. Um, and then my intense love would definitely have to be with, you know, the one who just left man. Um, that was hard, that was no funny. Like man, I was sick. I've been sick for like like a year maybe, trying to get over it, and then I finally got over it. Yeah, it took me a year.
Speaker 1:Wait, rewind pause, I have. I have one question.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Not about this confusing situation, but at the time of the puppy love, is that when you always used to play in that Maya song, was that around the same time?
Speaker 2:Don't mess, nope, no, not that one. Uh, what you gonna do that one?
Speaker 1:So so much Was that the same time. Yeah probably hey. Why didn't realize that?
Speaker 2:I was going through it, man. I was going through it, man. She loved. I mean, oh my.
Speaker 1:God.
Speaker 2:Cause he was a cheater and he wasn't saying no To nobody. It's alright, though. It's cool.
Speaker 1:So whatever, okay, okay. So the intense love you say that took you about a year or two, really stop Okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It makes sense actually, now that I thought about it. Okay, yeah.
Speaker 2:Took about a year.
Speaker 1:Okay, so do you think you have met your easy?
Speaker 2:Yes and no, because yes, because it ain't easy. It ain't easy, man. Man, you know that. Remember that commercial I used to love? I mean it was a Swift or Wet Jet and it was like baby, come back. Ooh, you can blame it. That's how I've been feeling. I saw it in the window, man. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1:I ain't singing it, oh my God.
Speaker 2:But then at the same time I'm like eh, Probably not like I'm only 22,. Man Got about 6 mo years to go.
Speaker 1:Until.
Speaker 2:I need to be married and had at least a baby on the way or something. Yeah, 28.
Speaker 1:I'm out of here at 30. So then you think it makes sense for women to put deadline.
Speaker 2:Yeah, man, really my back hurting. I'm chasing this child. No, no, I'm done.
Speaker 1:I've added that all Done, jaila.
Speaker 2:Mom, your back be hurting my back Exactly.
Speaker 1:My back hurts because of my child?
Speaker 2:No, but listen Okay, but listen Boom, say, you 28 and you push out a kid. You're breaking down. It be days, I think, the old, like the age getting to you now, because sometimes you be going through your moods, I'm like, oh man, ain't no way she got no baby right now.
Speaker 1:Me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you. Oh, it's like menopause coming or something you don't even know what's wrong with you Something to be wrong. What's wrong with you? I'm just having one of those days Like, yep, I'm good, I'm not having a kid, bro, that doesn't have anything.
Speaker 1:Jaila, I had pop at 29. No. So, one year before me. You think I'll make a lifetime difference.
Speaker 2:Okay, so hear me out you 33. I'm not, but I'm you 33, right, you just had a baby, but baby five you 38. So you're 38 right now.
Speaker 1:No, I'm not. How are you Dang?
Speaker 2:I was close though 36. Oh, close enough. Okay, imagine you 36 right now. Right now, mom with a five year old.
Speaker 1:Right now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, exactly. No, it's not happening, it's because I'm mentally tired. Me too Not physically.
Speaker 1:I go outside right now, but mentally. I don't have it. What's? Why is chocolate brown? And why is the elevator go up and down and not left and right? Like my son asked a lot of questions too, but I feel like them little kids. Oh, I got a headache right now, actually like right this minute, so Dang, but that's. Many women have had children later in life and have been just fine.
Speaker 2:And then they're gonna die by the time. The kid like has a kid bro Like now. You're heck of old, you can't do nothing you sitting there.
Speaker 1:That's incorrect.
Speaker 2:Bro, no listen. Listen, if you out there and you are 50 and you still got a jet, cool, I'm so sorry, not sorry.
Speaker 1:What is a jet A?
Speaker 2:child, you got a child or whatever, and you doing a thing Cool, that's great for you, bro, like I'm so proud of you. But that's realistic. You're 50 years old and your kid is 18. You're not gonna be there for your grandkids, you're dead.
Speaker 1:I mean, if your kid is 18 and you're 50, the life expectancy. And if you live in America, what's the life expectancy? 80? Probably so. That's 30 more years.
Speaker 2:Okay, they could possibly see their grandkids. I don't know. You know, black people kind of weird too. So, like my uncle, like 12. So this is all just strange to me. He's seven.
Speaker 1:Oh, my God, I don't know. Time froze. He's like 16, 17.
Speaker 2:Dang. You see, I'm gonna be outside, so I don't know.
Speaker 1:Dang yeah.
Speaker 2:So you know, to each his own, she doing her thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:I think. I don't know Me neither.
Speaker 1:Yeah, anyway, yeah, okay, so, yeah. So Jayla wants kids in six years everybody. Or the one she out the gate. You know what's funny? I said the same thing If I don't have another kid before I'm 30, I'm not gonna have any more. So I guess we thought similarly, exactly, but I'm not saying that that's a stopping point for anyone. It was just for me.
Speaker 2:Yeah for me. This is all about me, this ain't about them, you're right.
Speaker 1:All right, what's the next question?
Speaker 2:man.
Speaker 1:Okay, next question Okay, so let's move into dating. Do you remember your first date?
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:Do you feel like you've had a date Dates.
Speaker 2:To be honest, we'll just come talk about this, but I think I only had one Like a real, real date. Okay, so what makes a? Date a date. A dude say you wanna go on a date. Would you like to go on a date with me?
Speaker 1:So the word date makes it a date. So what if the dude says can I take you out?
Speaker 2:That's not a date we hanging out. Oh, you wanna take me out? Take me out. Well, is that?
Speaker 1:not a date. That's what they be saying.
Speaker 2:You wanna come over and watch Netflix Like that's not a date.
Speaker 1:No, that's not a date In my definition either. But if a young sir comes and says can I take you out?
Speaker 2:I feel like that's a date. Okay, but in this generation I feel like I ain't in this generation. In my past I feel like they be like oh, you wanna go out to eat, or oh, you wanna go to the movies, oh, you wanna go do this. That's hanging out, bro, like you. Just ask me if I wanna go do that with you. You're not saying hey, can I take you somewhere?
Speaker 1:Okay, so answer me this are you paying?
Speaker 2:It depends on who it is, cause if you heck of ugly and busted, I don't want you thinking that I owe you anything, so we gonna split it, and if you look good, yeah, you could pay.
Speaker 1:If you look good, you can pay.
Speaker 2:Listen, I don't want nobody thinking that they gonna get a second chance or that they have the right to ask me anything. So I will pay.
Speaker 1:But if you okay. So here's how I think. If somebody says can I take you out To me, that means you're paying Because you're taking me out. You invited me. So you would. However you look, if you look well enough for me to accept the invitation. You invited me, so I feel like you should be paying. I guess I get it, but I don't get it as far as like. Oh, if the person paid, that means that you owe them something that might come from a traumatic experience, because how is that the automatic expectation?
Speaker 2:Not owe them, like not owe them sex or anything like that. But it's like okay, if a dude takes me out, right, and he pays, and he treats me like a gentleman, and X, y and Z, I feel like, especially in this generation he feels that he's obligated to now treat me like oh well, I took you on a date. Like I should be able to ask you like where you going and who you're with. Like I don't know what it is, but every single time not many times, but the few times that I've been in a couple of dates the guy will literally be like okay, so what's next? And I was like, bro, we just went out once. Bro. Like it comes with like expectations of a future or that there is even a chance of a future. Like what if the date goes bad?
Speaker 2:Then you just tell them that the date went bad and I'm not interested but this is a generation where they will kill you, so I'll just be letting you go down on the low. Yeah, man, you gotta think about these things, man See.
Speaker 1:No, you're right. I mean, oh God, yeah, that put a little bit of a morbid turn on things. I mean, yeah, but I mean, so what do you do? Just not go, or you just give them just enough to think there may be a future, and then who's wrong here If I boom right Before I go on any date?
Speaker 2:I'm talking to this person, I'm texting this person, me and Aliyah, doing a little background research. We gonna go through the Facebook, find a mom page. We gonna find out who you is, For sure, for sure.
Speaker 1:I bet not nobody be looking up my page, oh look at her page.
Speaker 2:man Do what you gotta do.
Speaker 1:It's secret and it's private anyway, Well.
Speaker 2:I'm on a mama page, everybody page, anyway. So then, boom, I meet them in person. So I'm like, okay, I already kind of know who you are, but if anything goes wrong, like a red flag or something in my body, I'm paying. If the energy is off, listen, this is a public service announcement. If I pay, I'm not messing with you, unless this is like our third end. But you know what? That's a question we gonna answer later on. Okay, but I have not been on many dates.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:What about you?
Speaker 1:Al Okay, one more question you paying for yourself?
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, okay. Okay, if that man is BROKE, he's getting left there. I'll even drive my own car.
Speaker 1:I thought you were saying, like, if I get a red flag, I'm just paying for everything it is.
Speaker 2:It was this one, okay, well.
Speaker 1:All right, dude yeah.
Speaker 2:We can talk about that later on, okay.
Speaker 1:Um, do I remember my first date? Um, no, I guess I don't either. Actually I remember my first date in my current relationship, but like ever, no.
Speaker 2:Where am I supposed to take?
Speaker 1:you On our first date. We went to the movie dinner movies Ew. Aw come on, it was, it was cute.
Speaker 2:What movie y'all see?
Speaker 1:I believe it was um what's that? Think Like A man.
Speaker 2:Of course he would take you to the set. What is wrong with him?
Speaker 1:What's wrong?
Speaker 2:He's been a walk out the elevator, walk out the movie. You looking at him like mm. Why Think Like A man made you side-eye?
Speaker 1:No, I think Like A man was cool Made me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but like ever, I don't. I feel like we had I don't know, maybe it was kind of the same Like you trying to go, maybe it was more hangouts, I don't, I don't, I don't work, no, nope, nope, nope, that's not true. I had like dates where, like I said, because I consider somebody saying can I take you out, like it's for me, it's all about language, if somebody say let's go to, that sounds like I'm paying for me and you paying for you. That's how I understand let's go, but can I take you is different.
Speaker 1:And I think for me growing up, I mean this current relationship I was early 20. So I didn't have like a whole bunch of dates with like men prior, but it was very. There was still a little bit of a what they call it chivalry where they actually invited you out. I'd like to take you out. Like I've heard that before in my lifetime. I'm sad that I feel like proud that I can say that, because it sounds so different now, but I did hear that, but my very first date I do not remember. So that's okay. So, also along the same lines of dating, what is your ideal date? And if you have experienced it or is anyone. I mean, I guess you said you haven't been on any, but let's start there. What's your ideal date?
Speaker 2:I don't even have one. That's how, like this dating scene is bad, like I don't have one, I mean it'll be kind of cool. Also, drake stuff when he running out that stadium and they had dinner in the stadium. I ain't messing with no dudes, I got that money. So, yeah, that would be tight though.
Speaker 1:Love attraction. Hey Drake have you hear me, Drake listens to our podcast manifest, so you don't so okay. So an idea would be some grand gesture.
Speaker 2:Grand on some 50 shades of gray. Put me in the helicopter and let me see the city. Then take me to some, take me to the master's, and then I just wanna eat. And then you leave me alone. Oh like, just leave, bro, you're not staying over.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, don't have the expectation to stay To stay, Get out.
Speaker 1:I think that's fair. Yeah, Get out. Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:For me, my ideal date I don't know if there's a place I think just ideal would be something where we have the opportunity to connect and talk.
Speaker 1:I mean especially so if it's like a first date. I wanna know you, I wanna know who you are and what you're about. So I need an intimate setting, like a nice dinner or a picnic or include a walk around like some, a scenic place where we can kind of talk and not be distracted and disturbed by the sound of a movie or a concert or something right. But if it's just a date like for like right now, in this space where I'm like married and long-term relationship, I would say ideal would be. I mean, an ideal date in my current space would be more than one day. I need like three days out of the area in a nice suite with music and wine, and I wanna go see a theater performance. I wanna have a wasted night out where we drunk and just find some random people to party with and they buy us all drinks and we just get crazy and then forget the next day and then we start again with a nice museum visit and Sound like the hangover hey.
Speaker 2:I'm going to be honest.
Speaker 1:I've never had a hangover moment. I feel like people by my age have had that Like. Have had like dancing on top of tables and bars and laughing, throwing up in the back of the room and you know, laughing, throwing up in the back of Uber's and stuff, like I don't know, like I don't wanna throw up in no Uber, because, hey, I have thrown up in an Uber, I did, but I wasn't drunk. That was the sad part. I had car, I was car sick and I threw up in my Tupperware so that I wouldn't get charged for the cleaning fee. But I just be on here cutting up, sorry, anyway, but I've never had a hangover experience and I still. I want that. Like I want one of my birthdays, or it don't even have to be my birthdays. I wanna go to Vegas or somewhere and just have a blast and then do some coyote ugly type scenes and then go home. I feel like I need that.
Speaker 2:You can come hang out with me and my friends. One day, mom, I will get you lit.
Speaker 1:My God.
Speaker 2:It won't be. Hey, I'm a bartender now. It don't even taste like liquor enough After a foe, you good.
Speaker 1:Keep going. Okay, I might consider that I need one other my age adult.
Speaker 2:I can't be partying with y'all like you and Rachel Rachel, I know you listening. You and Rachel come to Atlanta like a weekend. Get you lit.
Speaker 1:Get you lit. Get you lit, Listen to this. We gon' see I don't know my we gon' see, we gon' see. Yes, so that would be my ideal date. It would be across a number of days doing all kinds of things. Venice would be nice, whatever, Just putting it out there.
Speaker 2:Me too though Take me with y'all.
Speaker 1:Take me, take me. You gon' find her a little.
Speaker 2:No, I'm not finding nobody.
Speaker 1:Okay, sorry.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, all right. All right and what advice do you have for young couples?
Speaker 1:I think it would connect back to what I've learned about you know, through these relationships. Be true to yourself, stay authentic, speak up, don't lose your voice, live authentically. Remember that you know the other person is human as well and you may. You know, both come with baggage, if you will. So just be mindful of how much you're carrying and thoughtful about how much they're carrying. And if y'all's suitcases, could, you know, come together and if they can't, time to move forward. Don't get wrapped up in one person, thinking that this is it and there's nothing else out there, because there's always another person, there's always another experience. Don't limit yourself. So that would be my advice. What advice would you give Jayla?
Speaker 2:Just recently, me and Aliyah had come to terms with this conversation. But men well, a lot of men don't lie. A dude said listen to this. A dude said I don't lie, I don't have to lie to her because if she likes me enough, she'll lie to herself. And many times we keep making excuses.
Speaker 1:Wow yeah.
Speaker 2:We keep making excuses for men. Oh, he would never do me like that. Stop it, bruh. He gonna show you who he is and everything else you making up yourself. You have created this entire image that's on you. Look at what's in front of you. Do not see or hear nothing else. Trust your gut.
Speaker 1:Period. That's big Wow. That's probably one of the craziest things I've heard in a long time. I don't have to lie, even though me and Dubya are lying.
Speaker 2:Oh, for sure.
Speaker 1:Nah, my phone died, come on now.
Speaker 2:His phone died earlier that day it ain't die, when you was calling Right.
Speaker 1:Nah, that was my homie girlfriend. She had his phone.
Speaker 2:But then look at one point that was his homie girlfriend, and now it's his turn with her. See, he ain't lying, he's just stretching the truth.
Speaker 1:Yeah, nah, that's, crazy, no, that's not J.
Speaker 2:That's not stretching the truth. Stretching the truth, he's just capping about the timing.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:About the actual situation.
Speaker 1:Nah man, people straight beyond here lying. I've had a dude tell me I'm looking. My eye is connecting with the girl driving away from his house. I say who is that? That was my cousin.
Speaker 2:I can't help my cousin bring the groceries into the house.
Speaker 1:That wasn't his cousin.
Speaker 2:How do you know? Did you do a DNA test? I?
Speaker 1:know her, I knew her.
Speaker 2:I can't save y'all man.
Speaker 1:That was a bald face like. Then found out. He told her the same lie that I was his cousin.
Speaker 2:Hey.
Speaker 1:Dude be out here lying man.
Speaker 2:No for sure. But I'm saying like they're gonna. They'll men lie, right. They lie about all that, right. But then you or you, to sit there and believe from that you know is a lie, is crazy.
Speaker 1:That's true.
Speaker 2:It's like who falls it.
Speaker 1:Both.
Speaker 2:But if you knew he was a liar, why I believe it?
Speaker 1:Like you said, make enough stuff.
Speaker 2:Maybe I'm tripping, you're lying yourself.
Speaker 1:Maybe he is right, it couldn't be me no more. We were on a break, so get a count?
Speaker 2:I don't even know these men?
Speaker 1:Just crazy stuff. That's crazy stuff. Okay, wait so that you know this addendum question Just the craziest lie or thing maybe not lie you've ever been told in a relationship or talk ship or whatever y'all call it these days.
Speaker 2:Bruh, it was my 21st birthday. Tell me y'all gonna know this story, bro. I seen the DMs. I seen them with my own eyes. I seen them with my own eyes. He said no, he didn't. He said I didn't see it. He said I didn't see it. And then, and then he was like you ain't see nothing. And then, with my friend, asked him well, let us see it. He was like I deleted it. So I did see something. Now it's gone, and half the straightest face like yeah, and it made me think like dang.
Speaker 1:I'm tweaking?
Speaker 2:No, I'm not Cause. He just said he yeah, how you lie and then forget. You just lied within like two minutes, man, that's crazy.
Speaker 1:That's crazy. No, you didn't. There's a word for that. People who do that. Is it a narcissist?
Speaker 2:I don't know what it is, but my end.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's nuts. Okay. Next question, before we get into the verses this will lead into the verses too, though. Yeah, have you ever cheated?
Speaker 2:Nope, never. I only been in one relationship for real, for real, and the second one was a situation ship. And so looking at who I am now no, I did not. I have never cheated because I've never been in a committed relationship recently.
Speaker 1:That's fair.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:So into the verses have you ever cheated?
Speaker 2:mom? And Marcel not to. She has never cheated on you.
Speaker 1:I have never cheated on my current partner ever, but you've cheated, I have cheated.
Speaker 1:Oh you going down. But look not. But look, I'm not justifying cheating. Cheating is wrong, man. Just just just move forward.
Speaker 1:My cheating was always reactionary. You cheated, so I'm going to get you back, but this one time I cheated, no man, I don't know. You know, we all make mistakes and I want to apologize for anyone I've hurt in my past because that wasn't right. It was like an X, like I had got with somebody else. But see you know what? The same thing we weren't committed by verbal. We didn't say you mine and I'm yours and we not dating nobody else. So I went back and hung out with my ex a few times and would you call that cheating? No, because we didn't say that we were. What'd you call it? Like you know, committed it's another word for exclusive. Exclusive, yes, we didn't say we were exclusive, but the person got the found out and had this whole blow up and like I felt guilty and I was like I'm so sorry, it was a weak moment and just be cabin, yeah, but we were not exclusive. So I really only cheated once, twice, twice, that's it. That's it, and I haven't sent.
Speaker 1:Were you working on yourself. It was. I've worked on myself and I'm not a cheater. It was reactionary, it was for revenge that don't make you right but it was.
Speaker 2:You know what One of my homeboys just told me? He said that when his girl cheated on him, it didn't make him mad, it just made him hate her more.
Speaker 1:Aren't those related? Like if you hate somebody, you're not mad, but you hate them?
Speaker 2:He cheated and then she cheated back and it didn't make him be like, oh, I'm so hurt, you cheated on me. It was like I understand why I cheated on you in the first place.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, and he would literally say break up after.
Speaker 2:No, Okay, that's. And then he told me he literally said her leaving me would have hurt me. If she would have just left me, that would have hurt me more than her cheating back, Because it just he literally said, it just made him feel like more confident in why he cheated on her in the first place.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So now I really don't feel bad.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like cause, you just cheated back, so I'm going to do it again. We just both going to be cheating, okay. That's so weird to me, though, because a lot of females think that way, like, oh, I'm going to cheat back, I'm going to get my leg back, just leave, bruh he don't care, just leave. He cheated on you already. Why cheat back?
Speaker 1:Don't be like my mom Just leave, don't be like me, just leave. He seemed hurt. He seemed very hurt. He just cheated again, see. But when I left him, I was getting Ray J in the ring, exactly See. So, yeah, see.
Speaker 2:Cause when I left he was sending stuff to the house and stuff He'd come back. Come back when he found out I was with another dude. He I don't care what you do, die, I'm dying.
Speaker 1:I don't want to die. Yeah, yeah, that's true. I think yeah, into the verses, because I think this next thing I was going to say is kind of directly related. So in this little, this next portion, we're going to just talk about our perspectives on these few topics here. And the first one is who cheats more, men or women? And I think I don't think either cheats more than the other.
Speaker 1:I think we cheat about the same, men and women. I think we cheat differently, and I say that because, speaking to what we were just talking about, like just leave, because that'll hurt more, versus cheating back. Women are emotionally driven. Men, because of different factors nature nurture versus nature right Are more physically driven.
Speaker 1:So I feel like when I mean feel how you are, how you will once, I say this, but I really do feel like when men cheat is really to, just for that time it's like man, I'm just trying to do this, whatever it really, I really feel like it could not mean nothing because she just that was just a. I mean it was just a thing to do, almost Like. It was almost like a like going to Walmart and getting a bag of bread. It was just a thing to do with women, it's mental. We I work with you and we will put on a project together. And I'm spending all this time with you and I realized you funny, you smart, you so nice.
Speaker 1:And so by the time we start thinking and this isn't all women, nothing anybody says is going to go fit in everybody's bag, obviously, but in my perspective, by the time we think about cheap, we've already liked you, we like you. And so I think that even if we don't, if the woman doesn't have sex with the person, she's already cheated mentally, because now she thinking about you, she might be dreaming about you, she might be with her dude, might accidentally say your name, kind of thing, like it's, it's, it's, it's a little deeper. And so if you talk about the physical cheating, I think that's men, but if you talk about the emotional cheating, I feel like that's women. But there are some people who say you can't emotionally cheat. So that's just how I think about it. What do you think?
Speaker 2:Um, I don't even think that's a versus for us, though, for real, because I agree Like I think I always say this to like my friends and everything that men fall in love with what they see and women fall in love with what they feel. So it's like, yeah, you know what I'm saying. He did his thing for the night. Now he back on Bruh. He did what he did. Now I do think I do think women cheat more, because I believe emotionally, cheating is cheating If you allow someone to come in to your, your heart, your mind or whatever you cheated bruh, I don't care.
Speaker 1:Yeah, um, yeah. I mean, I think that's cheating too, if you laying in a bed and you're thinking about this person.
Speaker 2:You think about that person, like what.
Speaker 1:Or so maybe I have cheated more time.
Speaker 2:I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1:Um. So if you, if you, because if you DM in a dude and your boyfriend hot spouse, whatever they in the shower, you're cheating. Yeah, like right in that moment, because y'all you smiling and y'all talking and stuff and you picturing another man.
Speaker 2:Yo, you're sick and let me tell you something that's why I'm not going to get in no situation right now, because I would not be thinking about that person and be thinking about somebody else and not just stay away from me, but yes, women cheat more than men because men, 90% of the time that men cheat, it's usually physical. You know how many times I held a dude hand and didn't think anything like sexually about it, like or like.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, we're holding hands because this is intimate and we together no, man, we just holding hands bruh, but you wouldn't hold hands with another dude if he was in a relationship and I think hear me out A lot of females actually used old Jaila. I used to be very like my homeboys is home. My homeboys Like I almost treat them like my homegirls, like yo, I'm, we, like I'm laying in a bed, like we cool, like it's nothing you know, intimate going on, these are my people, but it's like I would still do that when I was messing with. Like a guy Like I'm still going to lay in a bed, we can go out to eat together all the time. We hang out every day. So maybe I was cheating the whole time.
Speaker 2:Maybe, no, but that was my homeboy, so who knew?
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, those were. If it's a explicitly platonic friendship, then I don't consider that cheating. But that's just me, okay, Next Okay.
Speaker 2:How do people initiate romance?
Speaker 1:So in for my generation, I guess what I've seen and it seems like it's changed Again. I've been out of the game for a while and it seems like it's getting a little closer to what Jaila might share. Well, from what I remember, people just ask you out. They just come up to you and be like man, like a baby in a blue shorts. Let me get your number. It just asks you out or I mean I guess you know and some people slide in the DMs, but they'll know you Like.
Speaker 1:It's not like I have no idea who you are, but you on my partner page and I thought you was cute. We didn't do that. It was like no, I know you, I've been around you, we've seen each other. Like we both went to high school together, or we was both in this group together, or I lived down the street from you. It's usually they already know of you and so then they'll reach out to you, say hey, it'll be like a how you been Long time. No see, how are things. You married it. Crazy what you doing Friday. So it's very it was very direct In my opinion, as far as you know, just initiating romance and I feel like it was eight times out of 10. It was a dude. Females didn't ask dudes out. That's your job as a man to come and say what's up with me and you or like, let me take you out. So that's how I remember it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, it varies, it just depends. Like get the DM, it means you had a party. It's kind of the same thing, though, but I guess maybe it's just the closeness of it, because I think our generation is more accepting and we realize, like these small little communities and my man ain't in this one, because the people are hanging around I don't want it to, I don't want, I don't want to be my man, I'm getting up out of here, okay, okay.
Speaker 1:I guess not too much different then, but has anybody ever like got it, you like in your face, or is it all? I feel like.
Speaker 2:I think gas station to be. I'm scared of gas station. Oh, Usually be older dudes. Remember that dude I was talking about. You.
Speaker 1:Look too good to be pumping your gas. I was like what you gonna pay for it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm like, is he gonna pay for it? Oh, you wanted him Exactly Move Okay.
Speaker 1:The next one for perspective. I think I already kind of said this. Who usually makes the first move in my experience has been men.
Speaker 2:I'll be shooting my shot man. I'm in there If I like what I see. Yeah, I'm gonna start with you. You look good. My mom seen it first hand. You know how I get down Today. Remember I slid up on that story and I was like you look good. You always put me my girlfriend. I'm knowing she did I'm doing.
Speaker 1:That was so weird for me. That's not me, not at all because she was my daughter, but just because it's like you're a female. I'm just gonna pop with that dude.
Speaker 2:I'm doing it. That's crazy. These new dudes be a little sassy, so you gotta let them know. You gotta let them know I like you, not sassy. You gotta let them know I like you, I want you and I need you.
Speaker 1:Oh my god, I ain't nothing afraid.
Speaker 2:Yo isn't that crazy, my what? My first dude he got at me. My first boyfriend he got at me. Second situation I got at him. A lot of my situations have been me Like what's up with you.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:Yeah. They look like a small like player dude, no listen listen, the dudes that come at me I usually be like leave me alone, yeah, but the ones that I go at usually last longer because I wanted you.
Speaker 1:Interesting.
Speaker 2:We gonna make it work.
Speaker 1:They say that in order for a relationship to be successful, like somebody has to like someone more, or something, maybe saying to do the man gotta like the woman more.
Speaker 2:But I think my dudes like me because they like dang. She got at me. I feel good about myself. Yeah, you do look good.
Speaker 1:He's so funny. I got at a dude one time. Well, does that count? Anyway, I got at a dude one time and I was slightly under the influence and I bumped into him and I was like, ooh, I'm sorry. And I looked at him and I was like, ooh, no, I'm not. I was like what's your name? And it was like, what are you doing? You don't do that. And it lasted all of two weeks. But anyway, I also got Marcel's number, but I already knew he liked me for a long time, that don't count.
Speaker 1:So it didn't count. Yeah, I was just like man. Let me see what happened.
Speaker 2:I don't know the dudes be liking it when I do it. That's hilarious. They love it.
Speaker 1:I can't and I don't think the women that I've been around. I feel the same Like nah, you pursue me. I'm not about to ask you nothing. I would about proposing.
Speaker 2:No, I'm not proposing that man. I'll start this relationship. You gonna end it, baby, come on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I can't groove with that. To each his own.
Speaker 2:She looked good, she looked good.
Speaker 1:But a woman get down on her knee.
Speaker 2:Hey, do what you gotta do Wow, I think. But hear me out, though. I think we could both, because if I ever get proposed to, we're both gonna get down on one knee. What? Yeah, because you ain't just gonna be on your knee, bro. Stand up, bro, because now I feel weird, Now I feel like we gotta be equal, so you gonna get down too. No, I'm not gonna get down, but can you just stand up please?
Speaker 1:You gonna get up and stand up and just give it to me, man.
Speaker 2:Okay, I'm gonna be emotional. Okay, I'm just trying to lean down and hold you and stuff. That's weird. And then Marcel get down on one knee.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That's just weird to me. Messed up your clothes and stuff bro. Yeah, he was in the suit and everything.
Speaker 1:Oh no, yeah. Even watching that video to me is like oh my gosh, it gives me nervous.
Speaker 2:Bro, I could use in love.
Speaker 1:Oh Lord, okay, so the next questions, number four.
Speaker 2:What are the terms for relationship status?
Speaker 1:Girlfriend and boyfriend. We are together or not, and talking, we're talking. It's usually talking stage, which means we're just getting to know each other. And then it like semi graduates to this unknown title. I mean we're exclusive, you're dating, but we're yeah, but you can't date nobody else.
Speaker 2:You can talk to other people, but then we become exclusive.
Speaker 1:We're dating and then we're in a relationship and that's it. That's just it for my generation, until Jada Pinkett. Yeah, like, I feel like you got with Khaled.
Speaker 2:It's like okay, me, I'm very complicated because I don't like to, like I used to be all in and like that just didn't give me the right results. So now I'm more like eh, we cool, Like cool me. Like, yes, I'm a traction error, like, but we cool, we don't, we don't even talk. If anybody asked me if I know, you know, like you're not going to embarrass me we cool. And then after we get through, cool, we talking. Now I'm letting people know, yeah, I talk to them, like, oh, y'all official, no, we're not official, we just talking. Then, after talking, then it's dating and then after dating, you might have a situation on your hand. Um, that situation, if it leaves, if it get out, the situation stage we together, yeah.
Speaker 1:We go together. We go together real bad. You're my boyfriend, you're my boyfriend.
Speaker 2:But if that situation comes after dating, cause dating is like, oh, like, okay, like we've been outside, because when you talking you don't go outside, you don't need to be seen in the public.
Speaker 1:So when you talking you don't go outside, Don't?
Speaker 2:come outside with me.
Speaker 1:Don't Okay. So that's different. We just on the phone, we FaceTiming and stuff Okay, no. When you talking, you can date no, you can go on a date no, okay. You embarrassing me Okay yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm like you can't be seen outside for real because I don't need people thinking I'm really with you, because you might be messing up my other talking stages. Yeah, but when we dating like you, I can't be outside with heck of different dudes. Like I'm dating you but I'm talking to other people though, yeah, okay. Then, once you get to that situation that's the unknown, where it's like so what you're doing, it's like so what you doing, but you got two people that don't know what they're doing, it's going to be a little weird. It's going to be a little tense, a little chaotic. Y'all not together, but y'all together. That's when they be like you, my man, but you not my man, yeah. Then once you make it out there, you good.
Speaker 1:You good? Yeah, that sounds so problematic.
Speaker 2:It can be.
Speaker 1:Like why even go to a situation?
Speaker 2:Because I like you a lot.
Speaker 1:So just go together.
Speaker 2:But if he don't want to, what if he not ready? But like we both not ready, because now we put like doubts in each other mind, because it's like, do I really want to leave like all my talking stages behind?
Speaker 1:Yeah, because this one made it to the situation.
Speaker 2:Scared. You know this generation got attachment issues.
Speaker 1:For real. For real, because we just go together and then it don't work out. It don't work out. Okay, that's crazy. Okay, number five. Hi, okay, number five.
Speaker 2:How do so? How does your generation break up All the quit Through text over with rap? Or you end up blocked in the morning, or the ghost, you and ghost. And it's different than blocking, because blocking mean like you really don't want me in my life no more. Like want me in your life, no more. That's crazy. But then when you get ghosted it's usually like they don't never take you back, but you can still see them on socials.
Speaker 1:Okay, interesting, I think people, I mean maybe it's the same. I guess it's the same. I'm going to go back to pre-relationship. I don't remember. I mean I don't know what they out there doing now. But yeah, you like, usually we would like, like we need to talk. It's usually what it was. You get a text or a phone call, we need to talk, and you knew what we need to talk meant and it's usually like a mix of crying and somebody begging no, and stuff like that. But that's usually how it starts. We need to talk. Ghost then I feel like, came about later because I, you know, I ghosted a couple of people. We just kind of all right then I was that was enough. But yeah, we need like ending something that was like meaningful or I don't know that you spent some time, you invested some time and yeah, it's usually we need to talk, I guess. Yeah, breakups are so hard.
Speaker 2:Breakups don't happen for me.
Speaker 1:Didn't we just have a question about what was your hardest breakup?
Speaker 2:I broke up with him.
Speaker 1:He ain't break up with me. People don't break up with you.
Speaker 2:People don't break up with me they might ghost me they coming back.
Speaker 1:So no one's ever said Jaila is not working.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but they came back, but I wasn't a breakup. So, yes, it was. It wasn't a breakup. I broke up, he broke, I'm up.
Speaker 1:Oh, don't be a denial, come on, it's okay, they told you.
Speaker 2:I left him, though, so.
Speaker 1:Okay, I understand Now.
Speaker 1:Breakups are hard. I've been broke up with. He came back but it was still hurt. It still was like a how could you, I'm her, this one dude man. He threw my CDs on the freeway like over the. He just wanted to be so upset and he threw my CDs over the freeway wall like onto the freeway from the street and that I don't know that was. That was back to the toxicity, yeah, and call me a kangaroo and told me I'm sorry you roll for that, you out there somewhere you roll for that, but I don't care anymore at all.
Speaker 1:But breakups were like like a big thing, like if you broke up with somebody. I feel like in my experience the person always got mad when I would break up with them, like you just gonna leave me, I just gonna leave me. I never liked you anyway and did it like come on, like let's just, let's just not, huh. So that's my experience. But with any emotional breakups where it's just like you know what, this isn't working. I've had those two where it's like it's so sad because it's like dang, I thought this was going to be something and it's just like you got that sick feeling and sitting in the bed watching sad movies and stuff and and eating and crying and stuff. Yeah, that sucks.
Speaker 1:Oh thank God I ain't had to feel that, um, yeah, shall we move on.
Speaker 2:Um. What are your generations relationship inspiration?
Speaker 1:Um, I'm okay, I'm going to go post this current era because I think before we were inspired either by relationships in our families or on movies, Like we really liked those old stories about, you know, like these whimsical romances and these strong women and their men who, would you know, were protectors, and like in the streets he was one way, but with you he was like soft and and and you know, caring and all this good stuff. And I feel like we were inspired by like by those type of relationships, by, like you know, the huckstables type relationships and and like poetic justice, right, and um was that other one, uh, Jason's Lyric. So those kind of relationships were very inspirational, I feel like to my generation. Um, and if you had, like I said, if you had your parents had good relationships, which mine, mine did not, um, so that was not my inspiration. So, um, yeah, now I don't know if please feel the same too.
Speaker 2:Any rapper and his baby mama, bro, like that stuff be blowing me because everybody like oh my God goals. I'm like okay, that's what you want to be, man, Everybody want to be a rapper. Baby mama, Embarrassing.
Speaker 1:Like uh, who was that? Uh blue facing?
Speaker 2:Okay, nobody wants to be like them.
Speaker 1:No, I've seen people.
Speaker 2:Uh, I love this relationship.
Speaker 1:I've seen people, maybe not present day Like once she got pregnant I guess things changed, but before we got to have a whole podcast about them, because man yeah, that was. That was all crazy, more like I've seen it.
Speaker 2:Jada waita and little baby.
Speaker 1:Even though.
Speaker 2:I despise her. I do not like Jada waita. I watched her on the impact. Not a good person, whatever, or like Ari and money bag. Yo, I talk about Ari all the time. I love Ari so much. I don't want to be like her, though, because her man got eight kids. Oh, yeah, so but people be like I would love to be a rapper's baby mama. Yeah, that's easy.
Speaker 1:No thanks, no thanks. I want to be like.
Speaker 2:Brock and Michelle.
Speaker 1:I don't even know if I'm going to be like I do.
Speaker 2:Give me the president.
Speaker 1:I don't want the president. That's a hard position and we don't know what If you look at those before and after pictures of when Brock was first nominated to his, when he stepped out that office.
Speaker 2:He's seen some things.
Speaker 1:Exactly. It's okay, that's my man. Michelle's seen some things too. I'm going to stick beside him. I don't want to see none of that.
Speaker 2:I'm talking about the love, not what they went through, the genuine love, oh, the love Okay. I want that, tina, and.
Speaker 1:Ike love. Huh, I'm ready to talk about the bandaid and you talking about?
Speaker 2:give me that, bobby and Whitney, if you don't die, I'm going to kill you, hey.
Speaker 1:No, if you die, I'm going to kill you, is what he said on that movie. If you die, I'm going to kill you and me. What? What kind of crazy do you have to be to say something like that? Is he still alive?
Speaker 2:I probably, who knows?
Speaker 1:I love that movie, of course you did. I don't know why, because it was terrible, but I love, I guess, her rise to I'm okay, you're funny, okay. Next let's see, we have number seven. What do you feel is the best thing about the relationships of your generation and, in contrast, the worst?
Speaker 2:I guess when we finally get into relationship like genuine ones, they last a little longer than y'alls. Yeah, because y'all's like not. Maybe not yours, but maybe the generation before yours. Divorce, honey. Everybody got divorced.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think you see it on Instagram right now.
Speaker 2:Everybody get into divorce. I think this generation is taking it much slower into marriage, and are we going to actually be together? I guess that's the best thing. The worst thing, though, is everybody wants to be a baby mom before a wife, so they rather have your kid than to actually have you.
Speaker 1:I would have to agree with that for your generation. I don't know about your mind, but yeah, I agree. The generation before me they all call and they quit this crazy. I think a part of that, a lot of the reason for that, is the need for marriage has changed and a lot of people get married for the wrong reasons. So you got to figure that stuff out before you go walking down somebody's aisle.
Speaker 1:And I'd say the best thing about my generation's relationships is that, honestly, I feel like the women of my generation are tapping into themselves more and finding themselves outside of who they are as mothers and wives and girlfriends, and the men are finding ways to compliment that. And so, as far as the relationship, I feel like we are my generation, like in our right. We're in our thirties now we're making sense of what love means to and for us from an individual and a coupled perspective, and I'm hoping that that means that we will have less divorce rates down the line. And then I think the worst thing about it is that we're in this and I think that is relative to kind of a lot of the things about my generation, because we're smack dab in the middle of like old traditions and tech, like the tech generations, right, and we're between the huckstables, love and Jadaweta, like we're right between them, and so a lot of us kind of don't know which way we want to go. Like, we want to be like this, and so it's a lot of, you know, young, you know, yeah, we still young young men and women out there doing a hot girl summer thing all year round, and then you have some of them who have settled into careers and are, you know, just chilling out.
Speaker 1:But I think, because of that factor of kind of being lost and not really knowing, like, which part you want to play, it's it just caused, I don't know. I think a lot of confusion has been caused because we were kind of just stuck in between these kind of different roles and images of what love is supposed to look like. So it's kind of a yeah, that's kind of what I think is the worst thing. And I think we are also the product of these failing relationships in the two generations before us of our parents who were either because, I mean, if you're an 80s baby like me, then you likely had a lot of exposure to drugs and alcoholism and so we're products of that, and so I think in our 30s now, a lot of us I think yeah, I think that's the worst thing Like I've come across people my age that I went to high school with, middle school with, who are like drug addicts together, like they're in a relationship and they're doing drugs and like that's crazy to me.
Speaker 1:I'm like are we too young to do drugs Like I don't know, like it's like crack, like we're too young for that. But so, yeah, that's really bad because a lot of people my age are doing really bad so that I went to school with and it sucks. So, yeah, number eight and I think our final versus.
Speaker 2:Who pays on the first date then from there?
Speaker 1:Oh man. So post this decade, I think the man, the expectation, was the man. Of course it depends on how old you were, but I think if you, we were all afraid of like the oh I forgot my wallet comment, because the expectation is that the man was supposed to initiate the romance, as I mentioned before, and you're supposed to pay. It's so different now, but just speaking generally generationally, like in my 20s, I guess that was the expectation. And then from there, I think it depends kind of is a mix of like take turns, like you get this, you get this date and I'll get the next date. Or you know, we have, we're having experience where we're going out for hours and having multiple experiences and you pay for that and I'll pay for this kind of thing. So, and I think that's fine, I think I mean, do what works for you. At the end of the day, what do you think?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean whoever asks, you know, whoever asks Like, if I asked you, I'm gonna think about paying. If you ask me, I hope you think about paying too, yeah.
Speaker 1:But if you're ugly?
Speaker 2:there was just one time, that's all I tell you. It was just one time. I make it quick, though. This is one time, just do that on like a little day, whatever we went. But he was just the whole wrong vibe, like I just didn't want to be there, I just threw like I had some cash on me, I put the cash down. I was like I got to go, I didn't care how much it costs, I just put the cash down. I don't know, and I left.
Speaker 1:Hey, yep, did he call you? Nope, I think he got the message.
Speaker 2:I hope he did.
Speaker 1:Oh, my gosh Well we're going to wrap things up. This has been a fun conversation. We hope you've enjoyed it. Feel free to leave a review comment on our Instagram page or in the reviews and share your dating do's and don'ts and any stories you have to share. Remember, every Wednesday we're dropping a new episode, so be sure to like our social pages and keep an eye out for us, and we'll see you on the next one. Thank you for spring cleards.
